Thoughtful Articles

It started way back in elementary school. You know those group projects where only one or two kids actually did the work and everyone else slacked off? Yeah, that made me not trust working with others much.

If I wanted it done right, better just do it myself. As I got older and took on bigger projects, I kept that same attitude. We're kinda taught that real success comes from toughing it out alone. And honestly, there's some truth to that. Figuring things out by yourself makes you stronger and teaches you a ton.

But the last three years living here on Kauaʻi have changed things quite a bit for me. I've been learning there's a nice middle ground between going solo and letting people help. I don't wanna be the guy who's always begging for help, but I also don't wanna be stuck doing everything alone forever. I've swung from one extreme and now I'm settling somewhere in the middle.

My wife and I have dreamed for a long time about building our own spot here on the island. Building on Kauaʻi is tough. Everything costs a fortune, permits are a pain, weather can mess you up, and good help doesn't always show. Last June 2025 we found out we were having a baby (super exciting!), so we needed to speed things up. Good thing we already had a 24-foot trailer for a tiny house sitting here ready to go.

Some lucky breaks happened for us and we scored a great location to build and it was time to get to work. Like always, I jumped in by myself. Just like my first tiny house build back in 2017. That project took me six months alone.

In my mind, I thought I could pull it off, I had way more experience this time, better tools and a better understanding of the construction process. Oh, and this one was bigger. We were adding a whole bedroom structure and a lanai, basically tripling the space.

Pretty soon after I got the subfloor down for the bedroom and trailer, the overwhelm hit me hard. I started doing the math. Baby boy coming in about six months. My last solo build took six months and it was much smaller. We wanted to be moved in within five months so we could get settled before everything changed. The numbers weren't looking good. I needed help, like right now.

I prayed and put it out there for some help. And wow, it came fast. My wife posted on social about the baby and the build, and this new guy who just moved to the island (a carpenter with 16 years fixing up houses) messaged saying he'd love to help. I also hit up a friend I'd worked with for a day on the property before. Both said yes quick. What felt impossible alone suddenly felt doable.

The job site got fun. Laughing instead of dead quiet. Lifting heavy stuff was easier with extra hands. Tricky problems got solved in smart ways I wouldn't have thought of. Things moved faster, but the best part was how much more joy and energy there was.

It wasn't just about getting done quicker. The whole thing felt more creative and alive. When you share the load, everyone can give their best without getting wiped out. Once I dropped the "I gotta do it all myself" pride and asked for help, things flowed better and I made real connections. We built something awesome, and I ended up with two great friends. Logan and Krish.

I've seen the same thing happen at Slow Yourself Down. I joined the team over two years ago and it was bumpy at first, but switching from "me doing it" to "us together" has made everything feel deeper and easier.